The Dream…
When I was young, I fell in love with dance. I started dancing at the age of 4 and just never stopped. I eventually went to college and got my B.A. in Dance/Performance. I loved college; loved the endless hours spent in the studio, loved the cracked and bleeding feet that were a mark of hard work and grit. I loved the old restored barn we wept and sweat and bled in, the visiting artists, loved the crazy choreography that was so important and meaningful and deep because I was an artist…a dancer.
I moved to Seattle post grad to follow my dreams of becoming a real bona fide, legit dancer. I actually had a job in a bank to pay my bills, give me benefits and free up my weekends, so I guess I wasn’t the “struggling” artist that you think of, I was practical, some might say smart even. In Seattle I got gigs with local choreographers for the 4 years I lived there. Only once was I paid, and never was that a problem for me. All I wanted to do was dance and if I had to dance for free then that was fine by me.
I moved to Phoenix, AZ and if you’re thinking, “Huh, I didn’t know there was a dance scene in AZ.”, well there wasn’t. So, I joined a salsa company because my dream was to dance and that’s what was available, and it was good. Like electrifying good!
It was in Phoenix that I met my husband. He’s not a dancer but rather an accountant and although he supported me, I started to notice this pivot, ever so slightly, away from my dream of dance. We moved to Seattle and I joined another dance company and the week they called me to tell me I made it into the company I found out I was pregnant…another little pivot.
When my son was born, I was consumed with such raw emotion and unbridled love for this little being. I never knew that I could feel like this about anything other than dance, it was startling and unsettling and refreshing. Although I continued to dance and teach with this company my world and everything in it was slowly, almost imperceptibly, shifting away from my dream of dance to this new dream.
Motherhood.
I have since had two more children, each of them stirring up that same range of fierce emotion within me. We made the move from Seattle to Vermont, my home state, and while I have taken a few classes, to try and slate my thirsty artist soul, I have witnessed this slow death of my dream. I have come to realize that I am no longer as limber as I was at 24. I am missing cartilage in my knees and by the time my body is warmed up its time to cool down. And it took me awhile, but this slow dying has been ok, welcome even. I held onto “dancer” as the central part of my identity for so long but my aging gave me permission to let it go and allow other things to take center stage and other dreams to be birthed and nurtured.
Back to motherhood…
I have always been one who holds tightly to memories, traditions, customs. I love the art of “remembering”, there is power in that. Watching my children grow, I wanted to treasure up all of the things; how small their toes were, the way they snuggled into my neck, the firsts of every kind. We are living in a day and age where we can literally record everything, good bad and everything in between, and for this I am so thankful. And it has been in this pursuit of “treasuring up” that a new dream was born.
For Mother’s Day four years ago, my husband bought me a DSLR and since then I have been devouring all that I can to cultivate my art. About a year ago it came to me, when my daughter entered Kindergarten, I would have the time to make a business out of my passion. That was the plan, that was the dream!! 2020 was my year!
COVID 19…you dastardly demon!
I mean, I’m not the only person whose plans have been put on hold because of the pandemic. Kids home from school…all the time…every day. That would never work for the launching of a dream.
But then one day I was on Facebook and I went down this rabbit hole and when I came out on the other side I had started my Photography Business page. I seriously have no idea how that happened! It’s like I had some sort of out of body experience and did all the work I was too afraid to do in my right mind. And there it was, it was done, I had done it.
Click “Publish”!
I’m so glad that I hit that button. It was proof that all the “what-ifs” had no power over me, that all of the fears couldn’t get the best of me, and that COVID didn’t win.
My dream is out there now. It is my joy and honor and blessing to walk with people and capture them and their lives, helping them to preserve their moments. And when you’re ready to capture yours, I’ll be here to walk with you and create with you something you can treasure up in your hearts as well.
All my love – Shannon
